So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
