Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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