I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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