i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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