Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize