It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
