The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
