Your face is a jimmy john
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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