Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize