I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sober January is a disaster.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
