Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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