Apparently you make a good broom.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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