Moan for me like Helen Keller
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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