My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
