When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
