I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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