Someone shit on the floor
this beer tastes like vomit already
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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