She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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