Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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