He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
