Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
