Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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