apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
