I'm drive I can fine osifer
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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