According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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