Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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