I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize