He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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