"it" just moved
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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