His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
