his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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