It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
third nipple confirmed
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize