Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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