She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
