she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize