eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this will be a night to untag.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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