his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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