anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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