no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
