you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
