drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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