You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
