This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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