Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
