yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
