I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
