i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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