How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
