walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
