Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
