I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
