dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
