I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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