we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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