Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
