You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
