the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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