If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I want to be your penis for a week.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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