So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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