If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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