I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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