Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
