Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
