at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's the barista slut.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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