Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
