it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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