Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
