I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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