i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
