If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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