so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
