So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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