yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
