dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
