I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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