At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
