What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
